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I remember when I was pregnant with my second, my oldest and I had a conversation that had caught me off-guard. She was sitting on my lap, patting my belly when she said, “Mommy, where do babies come from?”
Gulp.
No. No. No. Not yet. She’s barely three! I thought I maybe had another good ten years or so before we got any of these types of questions!
“W-w-well….” I stammered, bewildered. I didn’t know how to have this conversation! I racked my brain, and finally spit out, “daddy put a seed in mommy’s belly and that’s how the baby got there!” There. That should suffice for a while! Her eyes got real wide.
She hopped off my lap and ran to the kitchen where her dad was making supper. “Daddy! Daddy! Do you remember picking me?!” He had overheard our conversation and said, “Yes sweetie, I sure do!” while chuckling.
That definitely seemed to subdue her inquiry into how babies are made for quite a long time, until I was pregnant with my third. I had even discussed having the two older ones in the room when I delivered at home….but that was quickly vetoed by their dad. However, he did agree on one thing: I would be the one to discuss the whole period thing. And where babies come from.
Gulp.
I firmly believe that had my parents discussed sex with me prior to my having lost my virginity, I would have saved it for marriage if it was instilled in me how important it was to wait. I didn’t get a talk at all. In fact, I learned about periods and everything else from friends and their moms. My mom and I were never very close. My mom was never religious–quite the opposite, actually. So when I traveled across the country to see her at 19 with my 1-year-old and her dad, I was a little surprised when she told me my boyfriend and I had to sleep in separate rooms when we were there. She was taking a Biblical standard and applying it in a house that didn’t follow Him.
The Talk.
Perhaps one of the biggest questions you need to ask yourself is this:
Do I want my child learning what sex is and what it means from a Biblical, loving perspective…or do I want someone else to fill in all the blanks for my child?
Perhaps those who are filling in the blanks don’t have the same morals or standards you do? What if it’s their friend’s older brother rehashing what he’s learned from porn? Don’t even get me started on sexting. It doesn’t take a lot to figure out how damaging that may be to children. I’m really glad I didn’t have social media like there is now (Myspace was just becoming a thing in high school for me).
With children hitting puberty at younger and younger ages (my daughter’s best friend started her period at 9!) and sex being so prevalent in media, it’s imperative we lay a good foundation for our children. Hindsight is always 20/20, and had I had the talk I wouldn’t have my two older children, but I wish I had some kind of SOMETHING. It took me a long time to figure out my self-worth, and sometimes I still struggle with that.
If you’re wondering how best to approach the subject, I highly recommend Family Life’s Passport 2 Purity’s P2P Getaway Kit.
My oldest daughter and me
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